If there is one thing that I fiercely preach, it is this: leniency. To yourself and to others. It’s not easy and I have to remind myself of it often, because I do forget it.
We often know where we need to get to be better people or to be better at relationships. We have a goal as far as we are concerned and it is not hard for us to define goals for our connections as well. It’s why we have New Year’s resolutions, promising ourselves that this will be the year when we become better, with more of this and more of that. And while striving to better oneself is admirable, I think it i also important to remember that we are people, therefore imperfect. We will make mistakes and that is ok. I like the sound of the word and its definition in the English language: the fact or the quality of being more merciful or more tolerant than expected. I often end up being my biggest detractor (and I secretly suspect that many others are exactly the same) and an important step to improving myself has been giving myself permission to fail on the road to being better.
I try all the time to show kindness to myself and to others. And to remind myself that in order to learn better habbits, we have to try and try again. I hope to never forget that we don’t get to be perfect and that we don’t always rise up to the standards we have imposed on ourselves or others. And that’s okay. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and to try again.
Because if we cannot forgive ourselves after failure, if we become critical of ourselves, our only achievement will be losing confidence. And when we cannot forgive others, we will lose faith in them. And the only result, at the end of the day, will be bitterness and resentment. And those help no one. So let us allow for space to pick up where we left off and try one more time.