I know you guys are always busy tending to the crop of women you hope to bag, but please take a moment to hear me out. I am sure, absolutely sure that you think your dick is amazing. And it might be! Nobody has any judgement to make about your dick, but please, keep it out of my inbox.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!”, you are going to say, “what do you mean? Are you some kind of lesbian or something? Why don’t you want me to send you pictures of my dick?”. Now, I could ramble on about consent and intimacy and aggression against women, but I know those selfies take a lot of time, so I am just going to keep this really simple and short.
Imagine an 80-year old grandma found you super-hot. She really likes that young piece of ass you have on you and wants to get all down and dirty with you. So she starts sending you pictures of her 80 year old vagina. And not only her, dozens upon dozens of 80 and 90 year old grandmas start flooding you on every social network, every dating website, every outlet they can find, with pictures of their vaginas.
Now, is there something wrong with an 80 year old having a vagina? No. Is it wrong for them to want to take pictures of their own vagina? Absolutely not| Should they send it unrequested just because they assume you want to see it? Fuck no! And the funny thing is most of you guys (the straight ones) are so offended by gay dudes sending you pictures of their cocks. And you still don’t see the problem with your behaviour!
It is the same with your own dick. You probably think it is awesome, and hey, it might be. Take pictures of it, post it to sexy websites, make a Tumblr called “My epic cock in 90.000 different angles and lighting schemes”. Just don’t send it to me if I haven’t explicitly requested it. Don’t just assume that I might like it. Or at least ask me before hand: “Hey, would you like to see my epic cock?”. And I might say yes just because you were decent enough to ask.
If not, I am going to start an assiduous search for uninhibited 80 year olds (grandmas AND grandpas) to send each and every one of you a picture of their genitalia every single day.
*guest starring the last guy who was unlucky enough to send me his dick-pic before I published this blog post