It has happened to you. You go about your day, minding your business, and all of a sudden, one of your social media accounts gets infected. A dickpic has landed in your inbox. It is surely not the first and you can bet your ass it is not going to be the last. But what to do about it? Should you ignore it? Block the dudebro who sent it? Show it to your friends and make fun of the asshole? (I definitely encourage the last option!)
Your time of worry about the dickpic is over! Dickpic-buster Kitty is ready to come to your rescue with quite a few useful options that have surely impressed all of my girlfriends. Don’t be shy, give’em a try!
Option 1:Send back a picture of a bigger dick. As we all know, no existential crisis is more existential to the cis-hetero-male than the size of his penis. He wakes up in the morning, brushes his teeth, takes a shower (hopefully) and then spends most of his day contemplating his pee-pee. Is it big enough? Is it erect enough? Will women fall to their knees as soon as they see it? Does everyone know it is imperatively necessary for sex to occur? And then he decides to test his hypotheses with a mighty dickpic. The only thing that will stop him in his tracks? A bigger dick, exuding that much desired alpha-maleness. Don’t explain it, don’t say anything, just send it! If he writes anything back, just send him pictures of bigger and bigger dicks! Don’t worry, you won’t run out. The Internet is literally full of them!
Option 2:Send a picture of you wearing a strap-on. If you do not have a strap-on, ask me and I will provide you with a picture or lend you a strap-on, whichever works best for you. On my phone I keep a very nice pic of me wearing a realistic horse-cock strap-on. I send it out as reply to random dudes who send in their dicks. I accompany it with enticing messages, sure to get their attention: “Oh, yeah, baby, I bet you are really tight!”. Or: “Will you stroke that male-clit as I give you the prolapse of your dreams?”. Have yet to find a willing participant. *sadface* But I never lose hope! One of these days…
Option 3: Send a picture of a dude sucking his own dick. This has been my favourite, by far! I usually accompany the pic with the following comment: don’t just show me your cock, show me some skills! Nobody has ever wrote back. I got blocked quite a few times as well, so bonus-points for me!
Option 4: Ask a male ally to flood the guy with dickpics. I have already booked a dude to help me out. The next bro who sends me his dick digitally, will have a lovely surprise of his own in the inbox.
Option 5:Send close-ups of body-parts you are really proud of. I, for one, am super proud of my moderately hairy nostrils. They look awesome in portraits of just them. Or have you ever had a pimple so large and disturbing that you were amazed yourself that your body has created it? Well, don’t keep them to yourself! Why should you? These guys can’t keep their pride and joy in the privacy of their pants. So share, spread the joy! Send your pimple to that boy!
I know the battle is long and great (greater than most of the dicks I have seen in unsolicited pics), but together, we can really ramp up that anxiety. Make them think twice or thrice before showing us their dicks, before we actually want to see them. Good luck and happy fighting!
P.S. Lovingly dedicated to the guy who sent me not one dick-pic, but an actual gallery of about 20 different close-ups and 2 videos of his penis.