It was a wonderful weekend and a dream come true for me. It was something I had been waiting to see happen for 4 years and it was more beautiful than I could have imagined. I got to escape for a few days with my Owner, to the mountains. We never got to go anywhere for more than a night, without any other people, without any other purpose than to be together, relax and enjoy time together, alone. And I realised it was probably for the best that it took this long. Because I had a lot of growing to do as a person and as a partner, to be able to appreciate this experience and completely enjoy it, as it deserved to be enjoyed.
I was proud of myself because I did not allow any negativity to spoil our time there. I suffer a lot from the terrible affliction of: “I can’t enjoy this holiday because I know it is going to end”. But I have been trying hard to live more in the moment, to enjoy the little experiences that present themselves every second and I am happy to report that it worked 😀 I managed to enjoy every experience, every moment. I was so blissfully happy to be there and to see and live everything. But it could not have happened so at any other time in our relationship.
It also gave me the wonderful opportunity to see him in a different light. I understood how important it is to get the chance to see people relaxed and happy. When you only get a few hours, everything can seem like such a rush to make the best of it. When you get a few days, you see people being more of themselves.
And, we got to participate to our first BDSM event as just a couple being there. It was beautiful. I was so happy that I honestly have no words for it. I realised how much we have grown into each other and into us. And I came to see what a good place we find ourselves in. And I am immensely grateful for that.
So I have learnt a few things after this weekend:
– we have the power to make things good or to make them bad; obviously, sometimes your situation can be objectively bad, but in many other situations, what we choose to focus on will create the feeling that we remain with at the end
– you can become a person who lives more in the moment, but it does take a lot of work with yourself
– if you focus less on what you don’t have or what you fear might happen, you free up emotional and mental space to see the joy right in front of you 😀